Inspiration struck while doing cardio, and as I’m sucking air, I can’t help but think…
How the hell did I get here?
Have you ever asked yourself that?
Well, not me. I have always been able to stop myself from going too far into a downward nutrition spiral. For years now, 93.26% of the time I would say I eat pretty damn clean and therefore am able to maintain a healthy body weight, healthy body fat percentage, and generally feel good. I’m a fucking trainer after all- IT’S MY JOB to be fit and healthy! This is the first time I can honestly say that I did not recognize I was heading THIS FAR down a hill.
Maybe because going downhill is way easier.
Not to mention, my workouts have not been at the intensity they usually are… and that’s not because I am going lazy – it’s because for months and months I have been dealing with injury. My hamstring and my shoulder have needed care and healing, and I finally gave my body what it needs. While this is totally ok and obviously necessary, it’s also has taken a huge toll on my ability to go big, go hard, and go ME.
Let’s not forget the nutrition aspect- arguably the most important, as well as most difficult part to get on track- and KEEP on track. I backed off my strict nutrition regimen. On one hand, a working challenge of mine is to be kinder to myself, in all things I do. On the other hand, I may have started converting kindness into indulgence. I stopped worrying about portion control, and let’s just say that there have been a lot more treats than normal these days.
It happens to the best of us, but I should be immune to this shit, I’m a trainer, I’m a trainer…. I’m a trainer. How did I get in such misalignment with my body, with my weight, and with my discipline? Even up until a week or so ago, I wasn’t fully aware of how much my body had changed. What was the major tipping point? Ha! My clothes stopped fitting, so yeah, there is that.
Not sure if anyone has heard this, but not all calories are equal. This means that what works for you, isn’t necessarily going to work for another one of my clients, or me. According to Harvard Review, there are three main factors that influence how your body responds to caloric intake and use:
- Your Gut Microbe
- Your Metabolism
- The Type of Food You Eat
As far as gut microbe goes, eating clean can do amazing things for your gut flora. Unfortunately, though, some people are born with a better gut microbe than others, and this is a life and body challenge that we sometimes have to just be with. Which sucks, but also, I can’t blame everything on the billions and billions of gut bacteria that keep my digestion moving along.
After two weeks of being back on track, I just wasn’t seeing the kind of progress that I’m used to seeing when I train. WTF? On a metabolic front, there are two main theories for why weight loss can be difficult, even when you are consuming the recommended amount of calories. The first theory is what is called a “set point” theory, where our friendly hypothalamus, which is responsible for bio functions such as temp regulation, doesn’t end up being so friendly when it comes to losing weight because it uses hormones like leptin and insulin to return your weight back to the weight that it has gotten used to. But that may not always explain weight plateaus or when you find yourself with some weight gain even though you eat fairly healthy and/or exercise regularly.
My body, for example, should have had a lower set point after many years of being at a lower weight. So why do people gain weight beyond the few pounds above their set point?
The second theory is called “settling point,” and suggests that our metabolism is influenced by more than just one factor, such as how we navigate our food choices together with our biological traits and our energy balance. So while I may have been within my energy balance, as I mentioned, my exercise routine shifted, and with that, some hormonal changes most likely also occurred. Multiple factors can impact the way our metabolism shifts, suggesting that our weight set points shift in response to changes within our environment.
Speaking of changes to my environment…
Here a treat…..there a treat…..did someone say oat milk? Man do I love that fatty calorie-dense goodness. Is it healthier than say whole milk? Depends on the person and how their body responds to dairy. So for some, in a way, sure… but what about the mango lassi on top of it because it’s clean, right? Or the watermelon, of which I could engulf half my body weight eating? Sit down my friend, because whether or not you are eating clean, calories matter. A case in point comes from Danielle Omar, a dietician on HuffPost, who offers an example of coconut oil, touted for many health benefits such as being anti-fungal, anti-microbial, metabolism-boosting, and is considered clean. Yet, people still go a little overboard with it, adding it by the cup-full to desserts and other recipes without any regard for calories, and the fact that health benefits start at two tablespoons. Omar offers a very reasonable perspective – that it is extremely easy to develop a false notion that if a little bit of something is good, a lot of it won’t hurt either.
The type of food you eat is important, but that’s just half of #3 up there – it matters how much you eat of it too, and if you haven’t read my blog post on sugar, well, right now would be a good time to get acquainted. “Natural” sugar is still sugar, and 2 grams of sugar here plus 2 grams of sugar there… and a couple more over here… that sure can add up, even when you think everything you are eating is clean and nutritious.
FAST FORWARD TWO MONTHS… (Yeah, two months… this has been quite the emotional topic for me. Annnddd my website was on the fritz for a few weeks.)
So what do you do when none of the reasons listed above are affecting your weight? You’ve made all the proper adjustments- you track not only your calories but your macronutrients as well, you track your calorie burn, you’re intermittent fasting (which has ALWAYS worked for weight loss in the past. You’re getting solid weight lifting sessions in as well as mixing in some good ‘ol cardio and HIIT training sessions… not to mention staying as active as possible throughout the rest of the day. You’re eating the cleanest you’ve eaten in a long time (and FOR the longest time, that you can remember), and yet- no change.
It’s depressing. It’s FUCKING depressing. Just typing this is making me tear up because I am STILL sitting in the “WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?” stage. It can feel so hopeless. You want to give up, but if you’re anything like me, that’s just not something you do. It honestly hurts more to give up than to keep going. So you keep researching and keep trucking along- eating clean, staying in your calorie/macro range, keep working out, both kicking your ass and showing your body your gratitude by doing some low-key workouts, like yoga or swimming laps, or even meditation/contemplation.
I am currently working through an attempt at adjusting my nutrition to help allow my hormones the opportunity to relax and balance out. If that doesn’t work I have some supplements planned as a last resort attempt in figuring this bullshit out. Because that’s what this feels like- total bullshit. However, one truly important thing I am learning from this whole process is the spiritual lesson behind it all. For me personally, it’s learning to not judge myself, and in turn others, by how they look or how it appears they take care of their bodies. Not to define myself by the shape I am in or the size of clothing I wear. Day in and day out, I find small insights that are helping me to shift my perspective as well. So, while it is difficult and seems to not make any sense or have a reason, I am growing so much and learning such deep compassion for myself and others through their own fitness (or lack thereof) journey. AND… and… to let go of the pride of my job and that somehow defining me (which it does NOT… that one has been rough and honestly feeds into the “how I look defines me” one, kind of an endless circle).
One thing I promise to do is to share what I find works, as well as what did not work and why I feel it did or did not work.
Until then… don’t slow, don’t quit! You’ve got this! Because you are SO MUCH STRONGER than you give yourself credit!!!
#Weightloss #Weightgain #Hormones #Hormonalweightgain #Hormonebalance #Metabolism #GutMicrobiome #Cleaneating #Countingmacrosnotworking #Countingcaloriesnotworking #Workingoutnotworking #Whatnow
Great blog! Thanks for sharing your story, there’s so many of us that are going thru the same thing. Appreciate you sharing.
Thank you for your kind words! ❤️
Thanks for sharing!
♥️ Thanks for reading!